Illinois, here we come!

I am now entering week 23 of pregnancy.  I can't believe I have made it this far.  I believe I have felt a few of Lucia's little movements today, so I know she is still hanging in there!  The ultrasound this week revealed that she is about 230 grams (almost half a pound).  We are praying that she will make it to at least 450 grams.  The amniotic fluid is low (about 4cm), but the doctor seemed pleased that there was still fluid present. No signs of brain sparing appeared on the ultrasound, so maybe the oxygen and hydrotherapy is actually helping?  We hope!  Walking around the house with my 50 foot long oxygen cord has been a bit comical.  Poor Weston, new to the whole walking thing, keeps tripping over the cords and getting his feet caught in them.  The girls like to pick up the cord and put it up to their nose, imitating what mommy looks like. 

Thursday, Chris came home unexpectedly for lunch.  He brought us some food from a work luncheon and announced that he got the job in Illinois!  Hooray!  He applied for this job way back in April and was finally selected for the Budget Analyst position.  We are excited for a new adventure in a new place!  I am starting to feel very anxious though about the cold weather.  I have truly loved being able to wear flip flops all year long in Arizona.  I love never having to bundle the kids up to go outside.  I love never having to worry about driving in the snow or on black ice. I love not being cold.   Oh Arizona, I shall miss thee.  Yes, I get tired of your blue, cloudless skies, your 8 month long summer, your brown desert rock formations, your scorpions lurking in the dark, your rocks, rocks, and more rocks....but despite all that, I have loved it here.  I wouldn't be surprised if we decided to move back someday :)  We are all excited though for a change!  We love moving to new places!  Fortunately, we don't have to move till closer to the end of the year.  Depending on what happens with baby Lucia, I may have to stay behind for a few weeks if she is still in the NICU.  There are so many unknowns about how the next few months will play out.  We just have to take it one week at a time. 

22 Weeks - CAOS

I have now reached 22 weeks.  As I mentioned in my last post, things just keep going from bad to worse.  We had an ultrasound and consultation with the specialist last Tuesday.  He said that the baby is suffering due to CAOS (Chronic Abruption Oligohydramnios Sequence), which is highly uncommon and either results in a very premature baby or fetal death.  He said he sees this in maybe two to three patients a year.  I wish I understood more about CAOS, but basically it is characterized by large bleeding episodes, where baby appears to be fine and grow normally until suddenly amniotic fluid begins to decrease rapidly without any evidence of ruptured membranes.  At 15 weeks, the baby and fluid levels were totally fine after my huge bleed (SubChorionic Hemhorrage) at 13 weeks.  The specialist seemed very optimistic and said that unless CAOS happens, baby would be alright.  Sure enough, five weeks later, CAOS happened.  Baby isn't getting the nutrients and oxygen she needs from my placenta.  She is way behind on the growth charts.  She is in "brain sparing" mode right now, sending all that she has to her most vital organs (the brain, heart, and adrenals).  In an effort to help baby survive for a few more weeks till she can be delivered, the doctor prescribed oxygen and hydrotherapy.  So, now I am hooked up to oxygen 24/7, and I use my neighbor's pool to do hydrotherapy for 15 minutes twice a day.   We go back in on Wednesday to see how she is doing.  The doctor's goal is to get me to 24 weeks and then from there, who knows...maybe we could possibly make it to 28 weeks....which would be a miracle.  Even if we did make it to 24 weeks, Lucia is so small, not even a pound yet, that the outcome would not be good.  I am praying that she can hang on till she gets bigger and has a good chance of leading a good life, or that Heavenly Father can take her back home. I think she is such a fighter...the fact that she has hung on this long... she just might surprise us all :)  Right now, we are doing what we can to give her a chance, and leaving the rest in the Lord's hands. 

..."let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power, and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed."  - D&C 123:17     

I have now made it to week 21!  Every week we go to the doctor, they give us something new to worry about.  Chris and I are starting to realize that these frequent doctor visits aren't very helpful: they just bring us down.  At this stage in the pregnancy, there is not much they can do to help with anything...all we can do is wait and see.  The latest ultrasound showed that Lucia is only measuring 17 weeks (3 weeks behind).  The ultrasound tech sounded very grim about the whole thing and had us waiting for several minutes to talk to the specialist.  After 15 minutes, she came back in and said the doctor just wants us to schedule another ultrasound in two weeks.  We were like "what!? we don't even get to talk to the doctor about this!?"  Oh well, I am sure the only advice he would give us is to just wait and see.  We are still hopeful though!  I believe Lucia might just surprise us all!  The past few days, I have felt a strong assurance that whatever happens will be for the best.  Heavenly Father sees the bigger picture.  We can trust in him.   I have been reading and re-reading Elder Uchtdorf's talk, "Grateful in Any Circumstance."
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/04/grateful-in-any-circumstances?lang=eng

Quote:

We can choose to be like the Prophet Joseph Smith, who, while a prisoner in miserable conditions in Liberty Jail, penned these inspired words: 

“Dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.”

We can choose to be grateful, no matter what.

This type of gratitude transcends whatever is happening around us. It surpasses disappointment, discouragement, and despair. It blooms just as beautifully in the icy landscape of winter as it does in the pleasant warmth of summer.

When we are grateful to God in our circumstances, we can experience gentle peace in the midst of tribulation.


I am so grateful for my family.  I am grateful for my three beautiful, healthy children.  I am grateful for a dear husband who spent over an hour today making peach cobbler for his first time...just because I had a craving.  I am grateful that my children have a daddy who does shark hairdos on them: he divides the hair into sections representing the dorsal fin on top, the pectoral fins on the side, and the caudal fin in the back.  I am grateful we live close to the city and close to a great h.ospital.  I am grateful we were inspired to move out of Cordes and closer to Chris' work.    I am grateful that I am not in any real physical pain or feeling sick all the time.  I am grateful Chris is healthy and able to take care of us all.  I am grateful for fantastic health insurance and Chris' flexible work schedule.  I am grateful for the amazing ward in which we live.  Over 30 youth from the ward have come into our home over the past month to help watch our children. Their service has been incredible.  I am grateful for sweet neighbors who check in on me frequently and bring treats and toys to the little ones.  We are surrounded by so much love and support.  The words of President Uchtdorf's talk ring true: we can be grateful in any circumstance!